Friday, May 1, 2009

Getting the best of me... URGH!

Well, I officially had my first meltdown last night. And, let me say it wasn't pretty. I don't know what sparked it, but when I got in bed I cried for almost an hour. To the point where I went and woke Baylee up and put her in bed with us.

I've decided to stop reading all of this depressing crap on the internet. You know... like she will never be able to get pregnant because it could put so much strain on her and the baby... granted this is 20 years from now, but still. It's drepressing. Or how she needs to stay calm and rest. She's 4... how do you tell a 4 year old to not play or run? It's not easy! I don't want her to miss out on anything because of this horrible disease!

I talked to my friend Brittney today and told her I was exploring all options. There is an herbalist in Rosebud, AR that is a miracle man. A lot of people call him a witch doctor. He creates his own medicines with herbs and helps many people with many different ailments. I called him this morning and left a message. I'm going to see if he's ever helped anyone with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. Hopefully he will call me today so we can talk about this.

I'm even ready to change our whole diet and go strictly organic. I know doing that has also cured many people... even of cancer! It's also an expensive way to go, but if it would help I will do it.

So, we will see... call me crazy, but I will do anything to help my child not have to suffer the rest of her life!

Hugs - Tiff


pixiemama said...

No one - NO ONE! - is calling you crazy, sister.

Those meltdowns? Oy. Don't judge yourself for those, either.

You know where to find me if you need me.


Lorrie Veasey said...

O Tiff-
You deserve a good cry.
I hope today is better for you.
Hang in there.

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better is a good old-fashioned cry. I too have freaked myself out from reading crap on the internet and you know... things change every day. Especially when it comes to medicine. Hang in there. I'm praying for you all!!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

{{{Hugs}}} It's only natural for us to want to explore every avenue when it comes to the health and well-being of our children. I applaud you for looking at alternatives.

Lacey said...

Your definitly now crazy. You deserve to have a meltdown. Just keep doing what your doing and you will be fine.

haapppysahm said...

Big Hugs to you Tiff! I'm surprised it's your first. I would look anywhere at anything to help my little one. Take care and I will pray for your continued hope and strength, and for your girls health and happiness. God Bless you all, Pam

Bird said...

When it's your kid, you'll try things. I'm living proof.

I have a very good friend whose sister wasn't supposed to live a week because her heart had so many defects. Then, they told her she MIGHT live, but she's definitely need a translplant. Now, she's almost eighteen and nobody's talking about a transplant. They are making so many amazing advancements in cardiology that what's true one day isn't true the next.

They went through many similar things with the activity stuff--she ended up being a horse-back rider for many years. My friend even said that if she needed to, she'd carry her sister's baby for her.

Don't worry about the future--none of us knows what it holds. Go ahead and let yourself cry, though--it's good stress management.

Beth said...

I learned a long time ago to avoid Googling health/developmental issues at all costs! I've figured out if I need to know, my dr. will tell me. it's helped with my sanity.

Thinking of you!

Jibber Jabber said...

Ummm...did ya forget what happened when ya gave Blair organic milk??? LOL You're not crazy...any good mother would move mountains for her children and if we were to look around we'd probably see many out of place mountain ranges these days. I'm glad you had that meltdown...sometimes we really need that good cry. And you're right...stop reading the interent though I think a very wise soul told you that weeks ago :o)
We love you...


therextras said...

Agreeing with pxma - allow yourself the meltdowns without getting down on yourself. Your post shows that you have already moved-on from the lowest point. Good for you!

'sofar as keeping Baylee inactive...I suspect that there is a factor of self-regulation that will come into play. (Hoping this helps you worry less.)